Harry Potter and the Repellent Desire Vol: 2
by Vandy
Summary: The tale of the short romance of Godric Gryffindor and his Beloved...


Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter is not mine, but if it was, the majority of the character would be involved in some WEIRD ships.

Mrs. Norris was sad. Mrs. Norris wanted somebody to spend time with, but Filch was a miserable old man, who incidentally was involved with Albus Dumbledore (more to come!). And all the kids she did find attractive were to fast for her. She wasn't Kenyan! How could she ever hope to catch them? And it was no unknown fact that Crookshanks and Mrs. Norris hated one another. And that was why Mrs. Norris was sad.

As such, the creature had descended into a state of being addicted to anything she could find. Recently, she had begun shorting powered wolf earlobe, a powerful stimulant for cats. The high it gave her made her feel so alive.

At the moment Mrs. Norris was following one of the humans she admired most. The bushy haired girl was only in her third year. But was already one of the most pheromone ridden creatures that Mrs. Norris knew. Mrs. Norris wasn't at all confused y her romantic attraction to humans, ever since Mr. Norris had spontaneously evolved into a super intelligent being, realized the pointlessness of it all and killed himself, she had been broken.

The girl tripped on a stair and something fell from under her shirt. The girl, who apparently had a very bad mouth when no one was around was swearing loudly and didn't notice the object as it smashed against the floor, shattering. The girl got up without cleaning the mess (irking Mrs. Norris) and left.

The drug loving Mrs. Norris saw the powder on the ground and did what any sane crack addicted feline would do.

She snorted it.

And went back in time.

And landed on Godric Gryffindor.

Who was eating pie.

"What the hell!" he stated expletively. The shock of having a drug obsessed cat on him while he was devouring his pumpkin pie was quite extreme. Mrs. Norris, having traveled over a thousand years in the past, simply assumed she was having a baaaaad trip. She did what any sane cat would do, although at this time reasons to doubt her sanity exist, and ran.

She leapt over blocks of stone in the Great Hall where Slytherin was bickering with Ravenclaw. Gryffindor gave chase and followed her as she wound through the half complete behemoth of a castle. The Stairways changed rapidly, one of them actually trimmed her nails for her.

After several minutes of the founder chasing her and shooting curses at her, Mrs. Norris began to tire. She tore down to the ground floor and rocketed out of the castle. The Quidditch changing rooms were her destination. Mrs. Norris was heartbroken to see the sport had apparently not been invented yet. However she did see Helga Hufflepuff dismounting a broomstick and jumped for it. In the process she startled Hufflepuff, who fell backwards into a deep pit that was in the ground labeled 'DO NOT INVESTIGATE! Salazar Slytherin.' The sounds of screaming reached Mrs. Norris's ears just as Gryffindor rocketed out of the castle and began closing in.

Mrs. Norris jumped on the broom and employed her mad haxor flying skills and rocketed into the air.

At three miles an hour.

The late Helga Hufflepuff was a conservative flyer.

Gryffindor grabbed onto the end and was pulled up with, cursing all the way.

Mrs. Norris steered the craft over to the Forbidden Forest. Suddenly the broom gave out and they dropped into a clearing.

"I have your now you adorable little kitty kitty," snarled the old man. Mrs. Norris was confused by this. "Yes, and now I'm going to give you a nice petting,"

Godric grabbed the cat and began to stroke it furiously. Mrs. Norris fought at first but then settled nicely into the rhythm. She purred loudly and began to wiggle. Before she knew it, she wiggled right into his pants. Seeing that, she left through the leg shamefully.

"No, no, Mrs. Norris," Gryffindor said. (the reason for him knowing her name shall forever remain a mystery to all of us.)

The cat stopped struggling and gazed at Godric.

"Meow," Mrs. Norris stated eloquently. Godric sighed.

"That is soooo hot Norris," He said. Mrs. Norris purred. Finally this was some one who care about her. Godric nuzzled against her. Mrs. Norris began to writhe all over his body…

Five hours later, Godric Gryffindor went back to work whistling. Mrs. Norris had a great affect on the man.

Mrs. Norris on the other hand, suddenly appeared a thousand years later where, after her deeply traumatic encounter, a stray spell hit her during a death eater fight. She now goes by the name Rosie O'Donnell


End file.
